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Lost... Found

Six seasons have come and gone and one of the best television shows has come to an end. Sunday night marked the end of a journey of sorts as I watched a story that has captivated my thoughts since 2004. Like many people I became hooked because of the intricate plot and masterfully developed characters. Lost grabbed me for another reason though back in 2004. The show premiered on September 22, 2004. My father passed away on September 21, 2004. During the pilot episode we discover that our main character Jack had recently lost his father. For obvious reasons I felt a connection with the character. The entire show has been building toward a finale that aims to answer questions. It was leading the viewers on a sort of quest.

It’s interesting because after my dad’s passing I said all of the right things to family and at the funeral and I know that only God gave me the strength to make it through that time. But in the months and years after that week in September I started to miss my dad more than I thought I could. I know now just like I knew then that my dad is with Christ and that September 21 didn’t catch him by surprise. Perhaps that’s another reason why the show moved me so much. Every part of the overall story was connected. There were no accidents, everything happened for a reason. Broken people were brought together in a broken place in order to be fixed again. No matter how crazy things got on the island there was always hope.

Lost is not a primer on orthodox Christianity. However, for me it reminded me of one of the deepest longings of my own heart. I’ll admit at the end of last night’s finale when Jack walks in and opens the casket to find it empty I shed a tear or two. It reminded me that someday I’ll see a casket and it will be empty. I know that right now my dad is with Christ. I don’t grieve as those with no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13), however I still grieve to this day. I don’t often talk about it with anyone, but I think about my dad almost daily. Some days I get caught up with the rat race and I forget, but then there are moments like watching Lost and I remember. Much like the characters in the finale I get a glimpse every now and then of what really matters and it gives me strength to carry on. I sit next to my wife and remember that I'm not alone. My daughter hugs me and smiles and I remember that there is such a thing as unconditional love. I see my son reach out for me to hold him and I remember that God carries me always. I remember that we are all characters and there is a master storyteller who sees His whole story and is moving it to an epic finale. A finale where all of the glimpses will turn into sight and where the questions will be answered. A moment that will turn into an eternity of being transformed because of the Light and Love that will be seen face to face.

Month in review.

So many pictures to post, so many things to write...wait for it, wait for it...beaubaby is starting to army crawl which is so cute and has his two front top and bottom teeth, and reese is our little sassy girl right now! She definitely needs to be in a drama class or something :) but so sweet and fun. She just got asked to be her first flower girl in this girl's wedding, so I am pretty sure she will knock that one out of the park! Just had spring break which was great to have time with skip home all week. doing house projects, cleaning out the garage...Broke out the reefs over spring break...there is something about my black reefs that makes me happy. They are sooooo old they are now melded to my feet perfectly...I never want a new pair! (And yes, I wash them every year all you germ-a-phobs!) Had a fun girls night out, did some shopping, made some cupcake pops...Decided that this year I am going to garden, like actually be a gardener. I started with herbs in pots (I have mint, chives and rosemary) now Im ready to move on to flowers in our front bed, and my dream would be to grow some more herbs, blackberries and a few other things in a bed in our backyard. Now, the fact that this requires some knowledge and also tools, which I have neither of, makes this an interesting project! Anyway, deeper topics of discussion and more pics to come soon, as in tomorrow! I promise! Happy Spring!

Snow Day!

So yeah, couldn't narrow the pics down any more than this...So grateful Skip and I both had the day off and could do snowy things with the reesie and beaubaby!--including make-shift snow boots of target bags! Had a great day and are so thankful for the fun and time together as well as the sweet reminder of our Great Creator through this rarely seen (in texas anyway :) ) piece of His beautiful creation! -- "Though your sins be as scarlet, they are washed white as snow!" Happy snow day everyone!

GFA and Change...

You might have seen the little gadget we have had in the top right corner of our blog since we started it. You might have not really looked at it. If you have never heard of Gospel for Asia, please check this out! We support a native missionary with them and some other things with their organization. We love them, 100% of what you give goes to the field! The director, K.P. Yohannan, is unbelievable and his books will change your life. I am re-reading Revolution in World Missions and every chapter is just life changing. We have ordered almost all of his other books as well and are on a mission to read them all this year. We have been completely pricked and moved to not only pray for and learn more and be more aware of the state of the world and world missions, but to DO more. We want this year to be a year of seeking and growing and of the Lord teaching us, molding our hearts, leading us to what He has for us to do and be. I truly hope we are in a season of Him working in us, Him changing and growing us. The Holy Spirit is moving in us to get out of the mindset of just making our little bubble more easy and comfortable, but instead to live our lives truly in service of our Savior in tangible, physical ways...to be thinking of the all the lost and hurting people and feel convicted to do something, to show Him to others, to soak Him in. And this is evident here in the place we are planted...we want to be more aware, bold, and intentionally a picture of Him to the people and in situations God has given us at work, in our neighborhood, people we run into on the street...Skip and I were so blessed to have what we did at Denton Bible with College Life...a once in a lifetime experience where we exploded in our knowledge, love and service for the Lord...where we were so focused and intense on Christ and His Word. Outside of that, our attentions, affections, and actions are so often pulled, deceived, distracted by the daily grind and sinful desires. Daily "quiet times" are so often a struggle. I pray that we are stirred with renewed and restored affections for our Savior this year (third word of the year--affections) , that He stirs our affections for our lost, hurting world and that He continues to direct our steps to whatever He has for us. Please look at and read the GFA website and seriously read K.P Yohannan's books!

my buddy...

Anybody remember this guy?? I am sortof a freak when it comes to remembering stuff like this (shout out to this girl)... I mean, for example, the skip it jingle, rainbow brite, popples, teddy ruxpin, big wheels, the theme song to Care Bears, Lite Brite and the ever awesome My Buddy and Kid Sister. If you were a kid in the 80's, you should still know every word and the tune to the below jingle...

“My Buddy, My Buddy,
Wherever I go, he goes.
My Buddy, My Buddy,
I’ll teach him everything that I know…

My Buddy and me
Like to climb up a tree.
My buddy and me
We're the best friends that could be.

My Buddy, My Buddy
My Buddy and Meeeee!”

Now, yes, I am the first to admit there is a slight resemblence to Chucky and actually dolls (and puppets) kindof creep me out...BUT, the catchiness of the jingle just got in my brain and lately we have been referring to the beaubaby as the "beau buddy" sometimes...even singing the song inserting his name...see below example.

"beau buddy, beau buddy,

wherever I go, he goes..."

Dang that catchy jingle.

Of course...I think MY buddy is way cuter...and a lot less creepy. :)

In sickness and in health...

Five weeks today of our little family being sick. Colds, eye infections, violent virus, fevers, coughs, ear infection and now bronchiolitis. I must admit I have been feeling very tired, beat down, and frustrated. I even have had thoughts of why can't we catch a break, why can't I keep them well, why I can't get a shower :), why my work schedule, recent new workout routine, errand running, and hangouts are being disturbed, etc. The last 5 weeks have been a very hard, probably one of the harder I have up to this point, but yet a clarifying time. As through all this Christ is showing me my selfishness, my total lack of control, my need for Him, and my need to be still. I have no right to expect and no promise that my little schedule and my little life is always going to be perfectly undisturbed...in fact, the opposite...These are all things I know in my head. But how do they work out in my life? How do I take the Almighty God and not have Him be a compartmentalized part of my life, but throughout everything in my life, even this? Hard one. One I have been struggling through with friends and family. One Skip and I are working on -- how we raise our family. I am not the most disciplined person when it comes to reading the Word and having "quiet times". But I am discovering that is not "it" anyway. The past 5 weeks, He has driven me to Him, and He has shown me my sinful desires...again. It all sortof culminated for me at a point when I truly didnt know what to do one day i was home from work with them sick. I just wanted to curl up on the couch and nap. But instead, I opened Psalms. I turned off the tv. I prayed. I think He is faithful to strengthen your desire for more of Him the more you are with Him. I truly want to want Him, to fight the things that pull me in the other direction. And man, the flesh is strong. I want to understand that in all this illness of the current moment, I am blessed beyond measure,...to change my thinking. To think of orphans, Haiti, all the sickness and horror in the world and be not only reminded of my sin and what a blessed life I lead, but also of the call I have to live out the gospel in my life -- to keep working towards what that looks like here in this place, this bubble we live in. Of course, I cannot do any of this...only Him working in me, which is a constant process. Sanctification. I will continue to stumble, struggle, and plod along sometimes...

Psalm 23. "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not be in want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures, He restores my soul..." This is what I read today and "restore" is my second word of the year. Refresh and restore. As I am worrying about my baby girl's fever right now, crying because I am so tired and just need a good cry, I pray he brings us all back to health...and I hope that through this, He teaches me more about myself, reveals more about Himself. Stirs me to want Him more in sickness AND in health...and to find my joy and restoration in Him.

P.S. I wouldn't mind getting back to the gym either :) I miss the elliptical.
P.P.S. Major props to my husband for his help, patience, flexibility and care through all this too. It takes an amazing person to not only put up with my moments of insanity in weeks like this, but to get snot on his shirt, thrown up on, and get down in the trenches with me...thanks, love you babe! :)

my sweet baby girl...

Time for a Reesie story...there are so many. everyday she does funny things and says new words, and has some major sass going on, puts her hands on her hips and everything. So cute. (I know it probably won't be so cute in 10 years) Anyway, she loves to spend hours setting up tea parties, playing beauty shop, dressing up like a princess, and dancing. She is singing every hour of the day she is awake. Always smiling. I am definitely in love with her :)
So the other morning, before she woke up, I went in and crawled in bed with her...she likes to "cuddle". She woke up, rolled over, put her little hand on my cheek, and said with all the conviction and sweetness in her little body, "Mommy, you are beautiful." Talk about heart melting. It is so sweet to see what this innocent little child sees, not swayed yet by the world's definition of beauty. Very refreshing.
Then today, we were attending a tea party in her room and she said to me, "Mommy, I am going to go get married in my closet", then disappears into her closet with her crown, purse, play jewelry and butterfly wings. Oh how I love these moments...(They help when the whining, throwing up and moments like that come :) )
My prayer continues to be for her health, safety, happiness, growth, and above all, her salvation. I pray that skip and I continue to develop in our love, patience and joy with her, and that we are constantly looking to Christ for her and that she is able to see Him in us. I am far far from perfect and never will be. I lose patience and get frustrated. I make mistakes every day as a parent. I am a sinner. But I continue to ask for forgiveness, seek Him, and petition Him to keep purifying me to make me more like Himself.
So I hope you all get the opportunity to hang out with Reesie and beaubaby because they are both the best and cutest ever! Of course, I might be a tad bit biassed. :)

a soul, refreshed.

i love the word refresh--"to provide new vigor and energy through rest, food, etc., to stimulate, to make fresh again, reinvigorate or cheer." there are many things that are refreshing to my soul : church, curling up on the couch with my favorite blanket, thinking of childhood memories, a fire in the fireplace, a good Alias marathon, rain, a date night with Skip, time in the Word, a good photograph, a Sunday afternoon nap, breakfast with my daddy, a hug from my mom, Reese singing in her sweet little voice, hearing Beau laugh, writing a letter, getting a letter in the mail, the smell of Gain laundry detergent, a new pair of jeans, helping someone in need, a friend calling just because, reconnecting, a girls night, a clean house, some good mexican food, sitting at Starbucks by myself, being alone in the mountains, a beautiful sky, laughing a for real laugh, winning a game night, ..I could go on and on. But for sure one of my top 3 soul refreshers is time with a dear friend. And I mean genuine, honest, happy, sad, nitty gritty, TIME. Time looking each other in the eye, talking about life, talking about the Lord, being transparent with each other, admitting hard things, encouraging each other, sometimes crying, alot of times laughing, spurring each other to grow, refreshing each other's souls...This past year I had a lot of lonely moments missing those kinds of moments. there are a myriad or reasons why we often let too much time go between these meetings...working full time, kids, laziness, selfishness, pride, etc, and relationship with Christ also has a direct effect on this as well. but i continue to fight against those things. (please don't send me hate mail for this...but i think facebook can be one too if we're not careful...very good "virtual" relationship creator...why do people need to know where each other are all the time and what we are doing? Its kindof silly. Im actually not a big fan of what it creates among people. Not saying its totally evil or anything. moderation. but I am thankful that we do not have internet on our phones!) Ok, now that we are past that soapbox :) Anyway, lately, now that I am working part time, spending more time with my kiddos, praying that the Lord would renew my heart and mind, resting in Him...He has faithfully given moments like this. Times like this. Conversations like this. these types of relationships are rare and few, they take pruning, cultivating, love and effort. thank you to the people out there that refresh my soul...through your words, through your silence, through your ministry, through breakfasts, lunches, dinners and coffees, through your gifts, through your help, through your advice, through having fun together, through your laughter, through your hugs, through forgiveness, through your notes and cards, through how you challenge me, through your Christ-likenss, through living life alongside me. i love you. my soul stands refreshed.

I won!

We all know how I love winning. I was given the "over the top" blogger award from my dearest Emily to help me keep my blogging resolution...so I am faithfully answering these questions with one word answers. Fun!...(and kind of hard :) )

1. Where is your cell phone? lap
2. Your hair? wet
3. Your mother? strong
4. Your father? hero
5. Your favorite food? Mexican
6. Your dream last night? work
7. Your favorite drink? dr.pepper
8. Your dream / goal? Europe
9. What room are you in? Living
10. Your hobby? organization
11. Your fear? insignificance
12. Where do you want to be in six years? mothering
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren't? confrontational
15. Muffins? yes
16. Wish list item? rangerover
17. Where did you grow up? arlington
18. Last thing you did? shower
19. What are you wearing? Pj's
20. Your TV? Alias
21. Your pets? never
22. Friends? life
23. Your life? Sovereignty
24. Your mood? tired
25. Missing someone? alexanders :)
26. Vehicle? corolla
27. Something your not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. What was the last time you laughed? tonight
31. Last time you cried? church
32. Your best friend? skip
33. One place that I could go over and over? NYC
34. One person who emails you regularly? bosses
35. Favorite place to eat? saltgrass

I pass this award on to:

-Jenn: because, bullseye.

-Andrea: because, game show soulmate.

-Jenna: because, pickle chips.

-Julie: because, just because.

New Year's Blogging Resolution

I have decided that this year (I kindof hate labeling things as resolutions because I don't really like resolutions per say...but, the new year is a good fresh jumping off point to get things going that maybe have been put off)...anyway, I have decided that this year I am going to get back to blogging. True blogging, not just pictures. i love writing so much and I want to spend more time doing things like writing instead of DVR overload. Don't even know if anyone is out there anymore, but, I'm going to write anyway. I know you are dying to know what was in my car when I cleaned it out, my opinion on crock pots, and how I feel about turning 30 :) But seriously, also I want this to be a journal of sorts of my thoughts, experiences, family, and what the Lord is doing in my life...if for no one else but me. So...here we go. Somebody out there keep me accountable...Mom. :)

Just for Fun...more pics :)

Yes, I know. It's been a while...again. Oh well, here you go! Enjoy, Halloween below also.

--The Family--

--At the park for a picnic--

--Playing with GiGi--

--The Princess--

--Jenn's 30th, cute girls!--

--My dear friend Bethany and baby Jack--

--Friends since 8th grade, such a sweet and fun gift!!--

--Matt and Lanis at Skip's 30th, Hotties!--

--Reese, or Reesiecat as Miller calls her, with her "betrothed" : ) --

Halloween 2009

Our little lobster and Snow White!! :)

Wow.

Read this today on Jenn's blog. I mean, seriously, start here and read the whole blog...she is amazing! Had me crying thanking our sweet Lord that His mercies are new every morning. Thanks Jenn and several others who have reminded me of this lately! (this blog always encourages me to look at scripture). Thank you Jesus that I am forgiven, loved, that I am your child, and that I can be renewed daily regardless of the sin and things of this world. Thank you that you give me YOUR joy! Your blood poured out for me never fails.

Pictures, Pictures and more Pictures!!

Here are a few pics...Enjoy :)

all things new...

Well, hello everyone. Back from the dead you ask?? Nope. Just back from not having a computer, having a babe, starting new jobs and moving. So, update of the summer...
Beau is doing great!! Such a content and happy baby, 16 pounds already! Reese is just blossoming and her personality keeps us laughing constantly. Skip started at his new school a few weeks ago and it has been good and challenging for him. It is a middle school in Saginaw and he is also coaching. I was blessed to be able to go back to part time as of last week!! Still at the Gaylord, same job and everything, just working 3 days a week. I love it and am so grateful to the Lord for showing Himself to be good and faithful yet again in my life, to my husband for working so hard to provide for us, and to my amazing work peeps for being so supportive! It has been awesome to be home with my babies :) Let's see...Oh yeah, we moved 2 weeks ago to Keller. We are loving the house! Trying to find a church--love the Village and Christ Chapel (where we have been going) but are visiting churches closer to the new hood. Ok, now that you're all caught up...random thoughts...
1)Love the rain!
2)love football!
3)love decorating!
4)love our sweet family foursome!
5)love our dear friends we live life with!
6)love lil smokies! (had them for bfast Sunday :) )
7)love cupcake pops! (www.bakerella.blogspot.com)

**Pics coming tonight!!**

The birth of Beau.

So. I am going to summarize this because I know not everyone is interested in the gritty details of childbirth :)
Sunday, May 10.
8am--wake up with contractions, but not too bad yet so we go ahead and head to IHOP for Mother's Day breakfast. At breakfast they are getting more painful, Skip wants to leave but I want my pancakes. By the time we get home, we start timing them as they are getting more painful and closer together.
10am--Skip's mom comes and picks up Reese "just in case". Skip and I go outside and walk and they get really close together, about 2 minutes apart, and painful enough that I have to stop walking when I have one.
11am--Skip wants to go to the hospital but I want to hold off as long as possible. The contractions are very painful at this point and so I get in the tub for a while. They keep coming and so Skip starts getting everything ready and loaded in the car. By the time he is helping me out of the tub, it is hard to even get my clothes on.
12noon--Most fun car ride ever :) Took about 20 minutes to get to Baylor.
1pm--get upstairs, checked in a room, IV started, all that stuff. I was dilated to a 5 when we got there. For the next few hours we labor. We had the best, most supportive nurse ever, a major answer to prayer! Skip was amazing too. He stayed totally calm and very encouraging. I thought I would get in the shower at the hospital or walk around or something, but it was just so intense so quick that I just sat up in the bed, leaned on Skip, sat in the rocker...They checked me several times and things were moving along.
5pm--start feeling like I have to push. Can't yet though because I'm not totally dilated. That was not a fun hour. That was when I wanted to give up.
6pm--Ready to go and start really pushing. The nursery people come in the room, the doctor is here. The pushing contractions were the strongest feeling I have ever felt in my life for sure.
618pm--Beau is born! I was sitting up and pushing so I saw him right after he came out and got to hold him right away and everything. It was an unbelievable feeling! I honestly couldn't believe I did it. I thought I would be the "grit my teeth and bear it" type...but turns out I was a screamer. For whatever reason that just helped me get through the contractions. At one point during pushing, my nurse told me she could tell he was almost out because I was screaming "primal jungle screams" :) That got a laugh from everyone...So she basically called me Xena: Warrior Princess. Oh well, so much for the silent suffering :)
So the experience was amazing and very much worth it for us. But of course the most important thing is our precious baby boy and that he was healthy! God is so good and we are incredibly thankful for and amazed by our little miracle.
Happy birthing to all of you that are pregnant!

Baby Beau

Beau Thomas.
Born May 10, 2009
8 lbs., 9oz.
21 inches
Full story and more pics to come soon! :)